You are Good Enough if you Lead with Love

So many people try to make sense of why people do what they do. No two people are alike. I remember someone telling me that when your child is born remember that they are a stranger that is figuring out their way of life. It is not for you to decide for them, but you are there as a guide to help mold and support that child through this thing we call life.

This resonated so deeply with me, but often I find myself wondering why my kids did the things they did or said the things they said. I continually remind myself that they are still their own being, not mine to control so the world doesn’t hurt them. This is such a hard lesson to learn and live by.

The big thing I want to guide my kids toward is how to build healthy relationships with others through compassion and kindness. I want to show them what assertiveness means and how to stand up for themselves in the right way, not in aggressive or passive ways. I want them to believe in themselves so their dreams can become reality. Love themselves so that they have the capability to allow others to love them.

With this though, I understand they can choose what they take with them on their own journeys. As a counselor, I understand so much of how people are and what they do are the results of their environments. However, I have learned through my own family, before I ever became a counselor just how much a biological component can have an effect on a person.

My parents raised me to be strong, independent, compassionate, dream big, don’t be afraid to love with my whole heart, and how to live a full life no matter how old you are. I am grateful for who they are and what they instilled in me. I am grateful their lessons are living on in me and my children appear to be soaking up much of it.

As we grow from children to adolescents to adults we become responsible for the decisions and choices we make. Let go of those things your children do that aren’t the best. They become the ones responsible for the outcome of their lives.

This post is a reminder that as parents we do the best we can. No one is perfect and no one is the same. The good ones share a commonality that we all want love, hope, and strength for our children. When we lead with our heart we are never wrong.


Ending on a Positive

My ending to 2022 has been filled with joy, contentment, and love. Thanksgiving and Christmas felt even richer than precovid. I was able to celebrate with our family in a precovid way, but with a gratitude and appreciation that felt very different.

Thanksgiving was a chance for me to develop and continue our traditions of letting others entertain, while just being present to enjoy each family member we got to see. My soul began to feel the holiday season that was upon us.

Christmas I felt more relaxed setting up our house, not worrying about every detail being perfect, but instead excited to spend it with family in our traditional way. Silas and I worked flawlessly together and I could feel both of us yearning to develop a foundation of family and love for our kiddos!

Last night I was able to spend time with friends that haven’t been to my house in approximately 2 years! I felt a feeling of gratitude and realized no matter the time that passes we will always have a connection and love that won’t dissipate. I am humbled by this.

2022 had its struggles, but I continue to realize the struggles are allowing myself to see the light I may not have seen before. There were things in 2022 that made me sit in the uncomfortable. My body forced me to engage in self care no matter how uncertain I was about it.

My goals for 2022 is to provide intentional self care. Show my children how to do this for themselves. Find light in any darkness that may emerge. Continue to foster real, loving relationships with my kids, husband, family and friends that nurture my soul. 💕


Addy’s Journey to her Forever Home

Know a child or family that has been touched by the foster care system. Think about gifting Addy’s Journey to those that can benefit this holiday season. We hope this season brings families new and old together. Sending love and positive thoughts to all.

Addy’s Journey to her Forever Home (Mom’s Choice Award Winner)


A Thanksgiving Sentiment

Thinking of the things I’m grateful for floods me with gratitude and grounded love. Growing up I was fortunate to have the parents I had and the opportunities that were bestowed upon me due to my family’s history and my parent’s perseverance.

My parents instilled in me motivation to spread love. They did this by teaching me ways to listen rather than judge. Every year I feel closer to being at a place that they would be/are proud of.

My father came from very little in terms of material things. His brothers and him learned to go after the American Dream despite tragedy. Not everyone is this fortunate due to family systems and cycles that have difficulty understanding how to flourish.

My mother came from a very big, very loving, and hardworking family. Her family was able to bring back the love that had been missing in my dads life for some time.

Love is the foundation of healing and happiness. As I sit here I think of the world I am bringing my kids up in. I work everyday to teach them the importance of love, compassion, and understanding. Teaching the world this could heal so many difficulties.

What my hope is as we enter this holiday season? Listen intently. Love unconditionally. Teach humility and honesty. Do your best not to judge and be kind. Maybe one day our world can find peace.


Exciting Movement

2022 has made me feel stuck in so many ways. Never did I realize the growth that I would find that would nourish my soul.

I completed a passion project with a friend and it came to life at the end of 2021. I saw highs and lows of this project early in 2022. This week marks over 120 copies of Addy’s Journey to her Forever Home sold! Reviews we have gotten from people has been incredible.

I got a Hysterectomy and was at least 20 lbs heavier than I’ve ever been before. The pain and the exhaustion were unbearable. The surgery went well but right when I started feeling better, I broke my foot.

I continued to gain weight and eat my feelings. I was in a boot for 13 months until I got a second opinion. I wallowed a little more.

August I began a new journey. A journey of healthy living. I began becoming mindful about what was fueling my body. Weight Watchers was a step in this direction, along with my own therapy, and the support of my friends and family.

I thank everyone that has helped during this difficult year. I’m grateful that I finally am able to see benefits to this year. I am more confident and sure of myself. I am more patient than I’ve been in a long time. I am providing self care like I never have before. I will work to ensure this growth continues.


Connecting and Love

It was one of those weeks that was chaotic, hard, and unfair. However, these experiences have allowed me to deeply connect more with my children and nurture the love in our family. Sometimes the world has a way of making us slow down so we don’t miss what is truly important.

Plans for today while kiddos work on getting better: Watch cartoons. Create Art. Read Books. Yoga (if up for it). Chalk (outside on this beautiful Sunday). Scrumptious food. Love. Halloween spooky movie.

Thought for today: hold your kids tight and listen to them intently. Love unconditionally. Parenting is a balancing act, but if you do it with love and compassion for yourself and them they will succeed.


The hospital call…

It was break during our staff meeting at work yesterday. My heart dropped. The nurse at my son’s school called as well as my husband. I missed these calls and only had bits of information from the short voicemails left. I called my dad and found out my son had a petit mal seizure at school, also known as an absence seizure.

Luckily my work is amazing and I was able to leave, no questions asked, other than “are you okay to drive to him?” I stated “yes” in a definitive tone. Of course on the way to the hospital a traffic jam ensued but I made it there as fast as I could. Liam was tired but overall seemed in good spirits and was the most patient kid in the room.

Seeing my husband made me remember, don’t take on guilt for not seeing my son’s school calling during a meeting. My husband and I are a team and he made it. Hewas able to leave for work after a few hours and we are both here to support one another. I am grateful for this.

The hospital was overrun with patients. The wait was long, but the workers were doing the best they could. I can’t say enough fantastic things about our doctor. He was very thorough and knew specifically what to ask. He didn’t just listen to the resident who didn’t ask the right questions and stated my son may have been out of it for attention. Liam is the type of kid who’s body would never left him fake being still. He’s a kid on the go. The doctor worked hard to ensure we felt comfortable with his diagnosis and answered all the questions we had.

The good news, I have an exceptional kid who is learning compassion through patience and communication. His type of seizure isn’t permanently damaging. I am fortunate and lucky for everyone that texted and called to check on Liam. Today we rest which is something we didn’t plan, but all desperately need. Our bodies have a way of telling us this. Sending positive thoughts of good health to all.


Aha Moment To Connect with the Present

I took my daughter to our local dollar store this weekend. The clerk checking us out was an amazing woman. She was beyond kind to my daughter and began our day with solace that there are so many wonderful people in our world.

This clerk and I were making small talk. I joked about Lucy being a handful and she reminded me, little kids little problems, big kids big problems. This woman raised 3 young adults that are in the scary phase of learning how to be responsible adults that will sustain them. We further connected and offered each other praise and strength mother to mother.

Continuing to ponder on the idea of little kids little problems, I find myself realizing how these problems now really are chance a for me to instill in my children resiliency, love, communication and advocacy. Once they are adults they will need these skills engrained in them.

My hope is the way I’m helping them navigate these little problems with flourish in themselves bright and amazing futures. Futures filled with compassion for others and themselves. Futures where they are resilient and motivated to live their best lives. Futures where they are not ashamed or embarrassed to stand up for what’s right. They got this!


What I Have Control Over

I have made strides on my healing journey over the last 2 weeks. After a hysterectomy earlier this year, breaking my foot 3 months later, and being in a boot for 13 weeks, I decided it was time I found something to feel in control of.

I made the decision to switch doctors. The doctor I saw told me to get out of the boot and into a shoe. His recommendation was if it stays the same or gets better it’s healing. If it’s worse come back to him. I can proudly say I don’t think I have to see him again!

I started physical therapy and I am becoming stronger each day. Everyday I wake up and make the choice to do the exercises. I am hopeful that my foot is healing, finally!

With the cards I was dealt I made the choice not to judge myself due to not being able to go for walks or be as active as I was prior to surgery. I wallowed. I think I needed this time of wallowing to help me get in the headspace of being ready to make some big changes.

I began Weight Watchers 2 weeks ago and lost 5 1/2 lbs. Weight Watchers has allowed me to be mindful about what I am putting in my body. I am looking at food as a way to fuel my body. Previously I looked at food as a way to join me in loathing my body. I am hopeful that I will love my body for the vessel it is. I am beginning to.

Throughout this journey I have been to an amazing therapist that has helped me process and understand the root of my anxieties and the loss of control. I am excited for the last part of 2022 and have plans for 2023 to be my year. I will keep you all updated!


Overcoming Fears

My son started a new season of soccer and we were unsure what the second practice would look like. His first practice my dad took him and he left after 15 minutes. Fear set in.

I asked him to try it again, and this time I would take him. If he did well, even if he wanted to sit there he would get a reward. I’m not above bribing if it means helping my kid overcome his fear and be able to enjoy something active.

He agreed to come. At first he stood back and was mad at me for walking to the field, because he didn’t want to leave my side and this made him come to the field to. I then joined in and he followed suit. Within 10 minutes I was able to go sit with the other parents! Afterwards, he said, “That was a blast!”

Such a simple example of a child overcoming his fear with support and love surrounding him. I could have let him give up and shut down, and I debated about this. I’m glad I did what I did, knowing how he loved soccer the prior season. I’m so proud of Liam for overcoming his fear and putting his all into the practice!

Always remember to encourage your kids. Remember there’s a fine line between encouraging and forcing. They don’t have to be perfect, they just have to try.