So many people try to make sense of why people do what they do. No two people are alike. I remember someone telling me that when your child is born remember that they are a stranger that is figuring out their way of life. It is not for you to decide for them, but you are there as a guide to help mold and support that child through this thing we call life.
This resonated so deeply with me, but often I find myself wondering why my kids did the things they did or said the things they said. I continually remind myself that they are still their own being, not mine to control so the world doesn’t hurt them. This is such a hard lesson to learn and live by.
The big thing I want to guide my kids toward is how to build healthy relationships with others through compassion and kindness. I want to show them what assertiveness means and how to stand up for themselves in the right way, not in aggressive or passive ways. I want them to believe in themselves so their dreams can become reality. Love themselves so that they have the capability to allow others to love them.
With this though, I understand they can choose what they take with them on their own journeys. As a counselor, I understand so much of how people are and what they do are the results of their environments. However, I have learned through my own family, before I ever became a counselor just how much a biological component can have an effect on a person.
My parents raised me to be strong, independent, compassionate, dream big, don’t be afraid to love with my whole heart, and how to live a full life no matter how old you are. I am grateful for who they are and what they instilled in me. I am grateful their lessons are living on in me and my children appear to be soaking up much of it.
As we grow from children to adolescents to adults we become responsible for the decisions and choices we make. Let go of those things your children do that aren’t the best. They become the ones responsible for the outcome of their lives.
This post is a reminder that as parents we do the best we can. No one is perfect and no one is the same. The good ones share a commonality that we all want love, hope, and strength for our children. When we lead with our heart we are never wrong.